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"ordinary life does not interest me. i seek only the high moments (...) but i am not always in what i call a state of grace. i have days of illuminations and fevers. i have days when the music in my head stops. then i mend socks, prume trees, can fruits, polish furniture. but while i am doing this i feel i am not living. " ( o diário de anis nin vol. 1, pág. 5 ).